13.76495

someone on tumblr claims demisexual means something other than “only experiences sexual attraction after establishing an emotional bond”.

instead they want it to mean “experiences secondary sexual attraction, but not primary”. unpacking that a bit more, primary sexual attraction is supposed to be to physical traits, like appearence or scent. secondary sexual attraction is to invisible traits, “who somebody is” or “someone’s mind”.

which seems like what i took sapiosexualiy to mean?

apparently in 13.76467 i should have talking about becoming demisexual, instead of whatever i was before. and i clearly don’t have a clue what allosexual folks actually experience, assuming that description of primary sexual attraction is more accurate than my previous understanding.

so much for having short words to describe my experience that other people can understand.

every time i think of the word sapiosexuality, i also think of the claims that it’s ableist.

just like being straight (or gay) is sexist.

now i’m not quite going to claim that there is no way for a sexual orientation to exploit structural social power dynamics, being attracted to people because you can exert power over (for whatever reason) is definitely going to be that, but there it is the positve expression of attraction down a power gradient that is a problem.

nobody is entitled to your attraction! you aren’t entitled to anybody’s either!

i don’t find a supermajority of people in the world attractive.

that’s okay.